Thursday, March 8, 2007

Keep On Walking Down This Open Road...........

Sometime I look back in my life...
Thought about where I was, what I was and what I have become flock my mind. It was a long struggle, confused days, days when future was so gloomy, but there was always a new dawn and the enthusiasm to fight. I remember that new year on the year 2000 when I left the comfort of my home and moved to Delhi to build a career. There had been so many ups and down in my life about my career that I used to think that I will not make it to the big league.
Completing XII with science, than deciding to move to Commerce and do, completing my CA foundation and CA Inter. Then thanks to my Chartered (mentor), loosing interest in doing audit. So much had gone through in a short span, that I had started thinking I am loosing it. I wanted to just run away from all those people who question, who are concerned. It was not like I was not worried about my future, but I was not able to figure out what I wanted to do, what I wanted to become. I had interest in computers and decided to take the plunge. Moving to Delhi was also part of the master plan to run away from home, I was not able to live the eyes, the worried look on the face of my folks. I wanted to do something in which I could excel.
Moving to Delhi was one of the biggest risks I have taken in my life till date. I went to Delhi on the assurance of one person, who said that I can make it in the IT world and he will make sure I do. Then the fight started.
It was my first stint alone, but it felt like I was always made to do this, I had no problems settling alone, I found a decent place to stay and started my course of DBA. This was a 1 month course and which would lead to job in some organization. Those days were very interesting, I came to know what I was made of, what I could with stand. I remember eating in one of the most shady places in lagpat nagar (Apna Dhaba), imagine---dal for 8 bucks and roti for 1. But that was it, you had to save the money, you did not have a choice. I also remember those days of month end, where I was left with no money and slept without food. Not that I could not get money from my parents, but I did not want to, I believe I had this crazy wish to fight it out alone. But it was fun, each day came with a new Challenge and each night brought concerns about me, my career etc. So it was like giving re-assurance to myself that I will be fine and I should sleep well, as I have another tough day ahead. It was funny, I at times I would feel so lonely, and that I was in desperate need to talk to someone, but there was no one. So, things like feelings, emotions started drying up and I found this new strength of thinking just from my head and not through my heart. From then on, it was not cribbing and taking each problem and finding solutions quick and fast. In all this I did great with the DBA stuff and got my first job, hectic work hours. I also made all possible attempts to make as much use of the time I have at hand to learn and become better and then the best. Soon I was the best technical person in the company. This all happened very quickly. At the same time I worked very hard and became popular at work. I remember those days when I used to work for 7 days in a row. I used to have a set of clothes, brush etc in the office. Imagine 7 days no sleep, I had some serious stamina. This was just the beginning. And most important thing, I used to stay in a slum type of a locality for around 2 yrs. Still remember my landlord and his son had built the house on their own. Each day I slept with the fear that the house might just collapse on me :-). My landlord had like 4 goats and some chickens. But I should say he was quite a gentleman, as he gave all our deposit money back when we left the house. I enjoyed my stay there, I remember those weekends, when I used to wash some 30-40 clothes in one go. All this was like "Life in the making". I worked in Delhi for almost 3yrs and then got my first break in the big league in Chennai. I was thrilled, I moved to chennai to work for one of the biggest MNC's in the world. Though the money was less but the brand name was important.
All these years in Delhi from earning 2500/- to 15000/- p.m., life had taken many full circles. I would say I was privileged to do and face so much in life, so early on. I understood the value of money, I understood the value of family. Small things like, what is to get food food, more importantly what it means to live alone and make a life. What it means to have no one talk too, what it is to have an empty life and still live on, what it is to live away from home during festivals, see people around have fun and try and have fun with just looking at those people. A dud life, I believe if you can survive this you can survive most of the problems in life.