Monday, March 12, 2007

Is It really tough to "Let Go"..method to make it easy.

I always think about how people cling to things, people and are so depressed with the idea of loosing it/them. I have seen a lot of my friends who had been in love and it did not materialize. I have seen them broken and lost. But I don't one who has not gotten over it and is not living a normal life now. So, why is there so much insecurity and emotional bonding which causes so much pain and agony, which we all know would be fine in the future and that all we need to do is move on. I have know people in relationships who are not happy, but they still want it to happen, they know that their future is very gloomy with the person, but still they hold on....why are they so insecure. Why do they think that move on in life would be stressful, according to me all they have to do is to think from their head, use the space between the ears and understand what they are gaining and what they are loosing. I always use the technique of drawing a line in the middle of a piece of paper and put my thought of what I loose or gain, pros and cons. Though this may sound a very heartless activity when it comes to people/relationship, but does this not make sense? Does it not help you get your facts straight on your face, does it not help you see the reality. I cant help those people who are afraid of the reality, who are not ready to face the truth, those who want to live in their own dreamland, but for the other who want to live a life and be happy, trust me, this works.
All I think about all the time is to be happy and make people around me happy, at the same time I meet people who don't want to the happiness which even comes knocking at their doors.
I know one thing for sure, all that you think is right may not be right all the time. There are time when people around you advice you, most of the time its against what you think or want. These are the people who care about you, and hence giving a thought on what they want to say is not a bad idea. I have been through situation personally were I needed advice, but I had no one to ask for, yes I used to feel low and lonely, but this gave me the opportunity to find my solution and device methods to fight the situation, like the one I use very extensively, the paper trick i discussed before.
I have met and been with so many people, there have been people you I made friends, they back-stabbed me, so who have been on my side all the time etc. But yes 90% people that you meet are phony, and its very important that you distinguish such people on time. The method I use to define my friendships and relationships with people, is once again very heartless but practical. I gauge people on a scale of 1-10. 10 being best and 1 being "forget it there is no future". Usually any new person I meet starts are 5, and then people either built up or go off. The criteria here is that people who are genuine, move up. But I am very clear about one thing that if someone does something bad or cunning to me, just goes off. I don't believe in apologies and sorry. I always feel its a cover up act and such people can do the same thing again. So better be aware of such people, keep distance, it will help you avoid problems in future. Everyone can live alone in this life and loosing people who are not good, does not hurt. It might hurt for a while, but its for your betterment. I don't believe in giving explanations on mistakes that I do, or if i ever hurt someone. I know its senseless. If the other person can make out why I did the act and still is ready to get along with me, I am fine. But don't expect me to go explain and apologise, I don't expect people to do it to me either. People say i am very harsh is behaving like this, but I would say that if a damage is done is done, what does a few words make a difference. I actually get frustrated with the explanation stuff, I believe in what is done is done, what next to save the situation has to be thought and I am sure I don't want the solution from the person who did the mistake.
"Let Go", two simple words, but this means a world to people. I think I have quite mastered the art, I don't get emotional attached to people, probably the only people I am very attached to is my family and a very very few friends. I think I am able to do this because I realize that letting go something is good for me and my close ones, and that I might feel the pinch for a while, but I am sure I would move on. Sometimes people look for support during these tough times and believe me, your family and friends wont desert you, they will be at your side. In my case I don't like to discuss on what I think and what I go through, I always have the smile on my face and my mind always works to get the things settled and resolved. Even before people can identify that I have a problem I have reached a solution to it. Hazards and advantages of living alone!!!!
Let me tell you my secret of "How to Let Go easily!!!". What I always do if I need to forget/let go something/someone, I just start filling my mind with all the negative and bad thing about the thing/person. Its not easy, and not very quick, but keep doing it, keep thinking how my life has been miserable and disgusting because of it. Think about all the negative aspect and in a while all you would remember is the bad things and you will start realizing that the whole thing was a foolish adventure and that the thing never made sense. You might even ridicule yourself that how did I get into this in the first place. But always remember this takes sometime and is a very mechanical and heartless process. But remember one thing never run away, live with it and practice it else if you face it again after working on this process, your mind and heart will fill up the good things. It should be like hate on the face, look at it and hate it and hate it even more.
I might sound very nasty and absurd to a lot of people, but this technique is tried and tested and works fine. You can club this with having deviation, like taking more interest in someone/something else or taking your career more seriously, spending more time with family etc etc....
This is about how I live alone in this world...but trust me I am very happy, I do everything that make he happy and keeps me upbeat.
Life is a boon given by God, so better live it king size. Stop cribbing about everything in life, make the most of your life, do what you want and what makes so happy. This sends positive energy/vibes and makes the whole environment around you bright and gay.
Have Fun!!! is my motto.